Today's era of Twitter-hype (I suppose its X-hype now, how fucking gross) and mob mentality makes maintaining passion for anything one might choose to love a challenge. It's too easy to be critical of things, easier still to get lost in criticizing things. Game mechanics, lore, entire iterations of a game, entire game series, publishing companies, entire industries, cultures, nations, the entire f'ing species. All brought under the microscope by everyone from 12 year old, hormonal, bullying little shits on up to sports pundits, celebrities, and academics.
I've concluded that one of two things is true, either everything actually sucks as much as what we're being told to think it does, or everything's just not as bad as we're being told to believe. It's one or the other, opposing ideas with no middle ground.
Which is it? The answer remains, as always, a matter of faith. And for those who still care to attempt answering questions they'll die still answering. Without regard for exactly how bad things actually are, we're left with one honest truth though, that some things could definitely be better.
It's good to be critical; about a great many things we SHOULD be critical. There are a great many things that need to be thought through more diligently, or that need to be discarded entirely as we move forward into progress as a species.
Just as science isn't guesswork, it's method; criticism isn't anger, it's philosophical exercise. Criticism, when approached with logic and pattern and methodology is more than a rant, its the momentum behind progress, allowing us to move forward into change.
It's never: Why is this bad and why should we hate it? How angry should I be? How loud should I shout about it?
It's: Can this be improved? If so, how? If not, what can replace it? If there is no replacement or improvement to be had, is it better to tear it down? Once improvement or replacement is decided on, what barriers or bureaucracies stand in the way, resistant to any change to status quo, and can they be improved/replaced/removed? If so, how? And so on until the job is done.
In short, at what point does bitching about a problem begin to contribute to the very problems we're bitching about?
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There aren't a lot of good reasons to completely discard the things you love outright and not attempt to improve them first, or at least ensure a better alternative doesn't exist before throwing the Belle out with the bathwater.
This is the mindset I'm approaching this blog with. I love Dungeons and Dragons. I love gaming in general, pop culture media, storytelling, and I love my friends. And much like my friends and I, with all our flaws, everything has room for improvement including the greatest game ever made. I can't pick apart my friends with logic and discourse and break them down into parts though, at least not outside my basement laboratory. I've got a critical mind that needs a healthy outlet.
This blog is going to be a safe place to think, criticize (without the drama, preferably), and be passionate. A place in the back alleys of the internet that doesn't smell like its rotting, where a dirty old man lives in a cardboard shack, burns stolen incense to keep immensely large rats at bay, and dispenses strange wisdom that only those brave enough to consider that odd fellow still human will ever hear. And the guy probably has a wizard hat, just so.
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Also, my wife's father died a couple of weeks ago, and this is partly written for him. He was a 40+ year DM, who loved board games and D&D, and a majority of his collection of RPG books and even his personal DM notebook was given to me. An honor I far from deserve, and a legacy I'll do my best to live up to. Cheers to you, Ron. See ya' around.
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Anyway, what's all that mean for this blog? It means I'm going to do my best to not bitch or complain, but instead to further the conversation surrounding the topics we bring up here. Deeper thinking, preferably, but at least more than surface-level bullshit. Here we shall avoid the naivete, and the angry, in favor of the considerate and the tolerant.
Method to the madness dictates starting from first principles. I'll choose D&D as a topic of note which will be our primary focus on this blog but not the only thing we talk about here.
I've thought about this for some time, what the first principles of games like D&D would be.
It's easy to say it's the six stats, or it's the d20, or whatever. Some of those things have changed from one iteration of the game to another though, and others have been used in other games to such an extent that those things aren't unique to D&D anymore. From edition to edition, from game to game, very little can be said to uniquely and specifically shoulder the full burden of Dungeons & Dragons.
That makes examining all parts of the whole, and verifying authenticity, consistency, historical and mythological foundation, fun and desirability, and of course balance extremely important. Because if any one aspect of D&D lacks these things, that thing and at once the whole can feel corrupted. Something other than D&D entirely.
More, the more that is added to the hobby, the further we get from the fundamentals required to be D&D and we move towards something bloated and weighed down with unnecessary tacked on elements over time.
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Now, while I'd like to examine each and every part of D&D and critique and philosophize about them all... Ain't nobody got time for that.
So, here's my plan. I'm going to go through the 5e Monster Manual, one monster at a time to examine their lore and their stat block. Then, I'm going to examine the lore of previous editions and stat blocks. Then, I'm gonna' look at other games and their stat blocks and lore. I'm going to look at the historical context: the human mythos surrounding the creature in question, its origins and its current depictions in society- what that creature means to us as a species and as a global culture of internet citizens at once connected but still stranger to each other and our dizzyingly varied subcultures.
In most cases, I'll try and create some sort of fundamental variant of the monster, and some specialized mage, warrior, boss, and so on when it seems like a good idea; or alternatively, I'll talk about why that's not a good idea, or ways you might do it yourself. I'll make these variants for simple D&D-like gaming as it goes, or maybe I'll revisit posts sometimes and make a Daggerheart or a 1stEd. version or something, but generally, my goal is to make a definitive Dungeons and Dragons catch-all of the monster that improves on that absolute dogshit that we got in the 5e Monster Manual, clarifies the monster's place in the context of the game as a whole, and is compatible (with minor conversions), with any edition of D&D, or similar fantasy rpg.
Various other mechanics (like methods for custom monster creation or ideas about Armor Class) will come up over time, and there will be intermittent articles about other things like comics or personal stuff. I may recommend visiting around the blogosphere to get an idea of my thinking about some things, so as to not repeat the work others have so diligently done already, but I'll try to provide direct links where possible.
I'm trying to make a post a day, so not everything is going to be the most well-thought out essay. Sometimes, it'll be more a journal entry type of thing, so welcome to inside my mind, I guess. I've found it to be relatively inhospitable, but maybe you'll find it charming.
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The monsters will be inspected in an order of my choosing, semi-randomly but with some intention behind the choice, as I will have things to say about the process, the goal, and the game as a whole in addition to the monster itself, and so I will recommend here that you should read the blog in order for the most part. Some things stated in early posts may be fundamental to the thinking laid out later on. I'll try to formalize a structure later on, so that you don't have to read my every nonsense thought to get to the good stuff. Oh, and I'll be starting with Goblins, so prep your butt. If there are specific monsters you want me to get to early, drop a comment on any recent post (after verifying I didn't already give that monster a go, of course)
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I'm not keeping a set time schedule, as admittedly I have no clue when I'll have time to do these things or if I can keep any measure of personal consistency. In that light, I'll never ask for money or whatever to continue on. I do this to give back to the things I love, not to profit from them. There's a donation button on the right, though, if you want to support my 4/20 fund. -Hey, it's legal here, loser! Get with the (high) times.-
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To be honest, the monsters of D&D aren't particularly foundational to D&D in most cases, though they definitely are in others. They're just another single part of the whole, but this method gives me a sense of order and it gives us a lockpick in the door, so to speak, to the more complex ideas in D&D's overall workings.
It also appeals to my world-building and tinkering sensibilities, which should help fuel the drive to keep blogging. Moreover, for you dear reader, monsters are cool and probably more interesting to read about than the specific mathematics behind game balance.
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On the subject of lore, I acknowledge that this is very setting-dependent, and I will be keeping an overall setting-agnostic approach, as I always felt Dungeons & Dragons officially should. (More on that in a later post.)
But try to think of each monster as follows:
1. A step-by-step look at the D&D official take from each relevant edition: the statblock and lore for the monster and what we like/don't like about it.
2. Other interesting takes on that monster from other games or settings. Goblins as an example: Pathfinder's Golarion goblins, The Wandering Inn web-serial's goblins, or Shadowrun's Goblinization, among many others.
3. The mythos behind the monster from real-world legends and tales, covering the origins and historical developments in addition to my personal thoughts on why the monster became what it is to us today, attempting to embrace worldwide takes on the monster where applicable and include a diverse range of perspectives.
4. The meaning and importance of the monster in society, both historically and in the modern day. The emotions it provokes or is intended to provoke, and why they're important. An example might be zombies, a word first recorded in the 1800's, brought over by Haitian slaves from Africa, having a completely different connotation then (a religious and spiritual concept) than the Walking Dead's zombies have today (representing people who walk through life half-awake, among other definitions).
5. My ultimate take on the monster, containing the quintessential things that make this monster its own thing, as concluded by me (but I appreciate community feedback!)
6. A few additional takes or variants on the core stat-block if applicable, or points of customization for your own use.
7. A paragraph or two of lore, covering only the absolutely required lore of the monster without which it isn't really that monster, it's something else. (An example would be that a zombie should always be a risen corpse, otherwise, it's not a zombie. A ghost should pretty much always be a spirit of some sort. An orc should generally have tusks, though it may or may not be pig-like.)
8. Notes on balance, notes for use in non-fantasy settings, or use in other games assuming I have any thoughts.
9. A final section covering how I, personally, will use the monster in my homebrew world.
Interspersed, I will likely include thoughts on related or adjacent mechanics beyond the creature itself, such as the 6-stats, or AC, and so on.
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As a fundamental rule, Dungeons & Dragons is, to me, fantasy (sometimes different kinds of fantasy, weird fantasy or scifi fantasy, but always fantasy). And the monsters therein should be catered to that as well. So, I do assume the existence of magic to some degree: divine beings, arcane rituals, wizards and clerics and kaiju, oh my!
I DON'T assume any particular amount of magic, low-fantasy vs epic-fantasy, for instance. I don't assume any particular level of interaction by the gods, and I don't assume the existence of the traditional planescape, though I do like various planescapes from different settings and use my own custom planar development in my homebrew world.
Furthermore, I don't assume a medieval time period. I try to assume only the bare minimum required to make a monster fit in a generic fantasy world, which should make the creature's lore easy to add to, and easy to fit into any campaign or setting from the Forgotten Realms to Shadowrun, from Golarion to Exandria, with minor adjustments.
While I will assume 5e or 5.5e(OneD&D) for the mechanics and balance; I will typically try to include very little that could not be adjusted to fit the style of play known as Old School. I have various thoughts on that subject as well, but overall I am fond of the OSR and want to include it in my thinking for myself, if not for others.
For those of you wondering about what I mean by the OSR, stay tuned, it's simply too much for an introductory article like this. But know that generally what I mean by the Old School style, as opposed to the OSR gaming movement, has little to do with the historical need to be 1st edition or 2nd edition D&D, or pre-1980's, or whatever. Rather, I'm referring to the at-the-table philosophy of gaming preferred by the game masters of old, and the principles inherent to that style. Things such as, "The answer is not on your character sheet." and "Rulings not Rules." are some obvious, and oft-quoted, tenets.
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Lastly, I'll note that I'm self-conscious and anxious about this entire endeavor. I've been playing D&D myself since I was a kid, and I'm 33 now. Maybe 20+ years? No Ancient Grognard with a 40CR, but I'm not new at this. I know folks might find me overly wordy, outright incorrect, or alternatively not worth listening to. Possibly ugly, or having an annoying voice. You don't know me right? Why should you listen to a random guy on the internet?
Not wrong. Not wrong. But I read D&D blogs and forums myself, and I can't really tell you why I chose to read the ones I do, or whether I'll offer the same quality of posts. Some people have managed to enjoy doing this though, somehow, and at times they've been influential in the hobby, and if that's the best I could hope for I'd be satisfied.
I'll simply say that a good man believed I had something to say before he died, and I want to have faith in that.
(And now I have to make a 40CR creature called an Ancient Grognard. Inspiration strikes again.)
Anywho, all that out of the way, 'Goblins, Part 1' is coming soon. If you happen to read it, tell me what else you want to see done early on! Dueces.
